Friday, September 21, 2007

What Now?

The last ten days have been a mixture of many things. Thankfulness that no one was seriously injured (I learned that the women in the other car only had bruises), horror from the memories and the "what if..." reel that keeps running through my mind, love from all the people who know me, and wondering at what God wants with me here on earth. I've always known that God has had a plan in my life, but I've been waiting around for Him to reveal it to me. Sometimes an actual voice telling me what to do next would be helpful!

It has always been my biggest frustration - God's will. What is it? Where is it? Who's going tell me what I'm supposed to do? Read all the books you want - they can't tell you exactly what your life should look like (unless they tell you to ship all your money to them so you will be blessed - does anyone actually do it?). So I have to decide how my life can be a light in this world of darkness. Easier said than done. For most of my life I've been trying to get this one verse to sink in: Romans 1:16 "For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek." (NASB) Unfortunately, I just want everybody to like me. I am surrounded by those who think the Bible is full of silly, out-dated rules and impossible miracles that only a fool would actually believe. So I keep silent. And smile. And nod at what they say. Something has to change! And that something is me. Trusting God to give me words that people will hear like He gave Aaron. Trusting God to give me courage and strength like He gave Joshua. Trusting God to give me a heart like He gave David. Trusting God to shine through me.


Anonymous said...

He shines more than you know :) I can see it in your eyes...well not anymore cause I'm in Lethbridge and you're not. But you know what I mean :D


Luke and Lindy said...

I have asked myself that question SO many times! What is my purpose anyways? Where is God's will for my life and how can I find it? I think we could spend our whole lives searching for this ... I believe our purpose is to glorify Him! But figuring out how to best do that in the lives that we lead is hard. It would be nice to have an easy answer, hey?
I praise God that you are all okay as well ... it makes you really think about life and how short it can be.
Love you guys ... see you soon!

evy said...

Amen little mama! is my response. You are such a joy and inspiration to me and of course your dad who never fails to comment after replaying the worship cd from church( i do that once in awhile to see how bad i blew the recording): does'nt she have a great voice! Keep the faith, give an answer to all who ask, and trust God for wisdom. Remember that mistakes are learning opportunities, especially effective in the first person. Love ya lots, mom

Joce and Dan Willms said...